44 posts tagged “work”

*victory dance* I passed my latest assignment, yahoo.  Only 6 pages *wince*. 

SO I've been for a few interviews lately, one of which wanted to get back to me after the state manager returned from her honeymoon.  I went back there for a second interview, but the Australia-wide manager who I was meant to be meeting just couldn't be there and oops they couldn't be bothered to ring me to tell me that.  So I took 2hours out of WORK TIME to go over there getting my head bitten off by bosslady (who by the way has made a few sheepish admissions about not being the best at handling conflict negotiations and has been fabulous since she has realised she has found a job somewhere else). 

SO, I got snapped at for going out for a few hours, only to find out the guy I was meant to be meeting who arranged it could not make the meeting.  So at the end of the interview she mentions that they want me to go back there at some later stage for 2 hours of skills assessment and then a third interview.  FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Their offices are about 20 mins out of the city from where I work.  We're preparing for bosslady leaving.  Trying to get everything in order as much as possible.  Aaargh.  I told the agent how I feel. The would be employer has arranged the skills assessment for Sat morning instead of during the week.  I'm still iffy about the job.  The idea of a new job is really enticing, and more money would be VERRRY handy.  We'll see. 

Angel...

Well, in a moment of weakness I might've accidentally copied him in on an email joke.  One of a multitude of people b'cc'd but it immediately got a response asking how I was, telling me he had seen me last week crossing the road (damn the work proximity), and that I looked fantastic and he thinks of me often.  Damn.  It was lovely to hear.  I'm not weakening I'm not.  It is impossible though to believe that missing his friendship isn't at some point tied into the rest... so I can't encourage it.  But damn it was good to hear from him and yes I responded via email in a friendly but not a flirty way.  Still I'm considering it falling off the wagon momentarily even though I didn't do anything other than chat over email in a sociable way. 

I was pathetically pleased to hear that his friend who seemed to actively meddle in our friendship in the past, seems to have lost his shine lately and the two have parted company.  It's mean as they were close but I also think this friend of his was using him up.  I've been careful not to share my opinion with Angel too much as I know eventually they'll mend bridges.  Good friends always do and I don't want to meddle. 

Interviews...

I'm waiting to hear about one of the 3 interviews I've been on a week or so ago apparently I'm shortlisted down to the last person.  The recruiter has also tried to ring me this afternoon (my mobile was switched to silent), so I'll keep my options open if it is another interview.  Fingers crossed.

Shoes Fetish..

Well, confession time.  Nope keep your minds out of the gutter you sods who were about to make some grubby joke, (though given my recent postings you might be forgiven).. I've been misbehaving WAYY too much on shoes.  Stupid? yes.  Financially not a smart move? You bet.  Was it FUN.... ooo don't call me SJP, I don't have the weird wardobe or the size 0 figure.  I'm going ot wear my fabulous Sachi boots tomorrow to work as it's just started getting cold again and any excuse to air them will do. 

Daylight Savings

For those of you NOT living in stinking hot countries during the summer months, daylight savings might seem fabulous to you.  For those, like Pez, it might seem fabulous if you love being out in the heat and don't come down with nasty stinking migraines if out in the heat in the early evenings.  To go to sleep while it's still hot as the heat doesn't dissipate WITHOUT daylight savings, until around 10pm/11pm, when daylight savings has kicked in, I'm finally drifting off after a nasty sweaty wrestle with the sheets at around 1am desperately setting up an oscillating fan beside the bed, pushing cuddly warmer than a heat bag max cuddling up to me away from me, while having the old aircon unit that is in the loungeroom rattle away like it's in its final death throes.  All I can say is "yahbluddy hoo, the cold weather is upon us and daylight savings was told to nick off on Sunday night just gone... ABOUT TIME". 

Interviews

So, in a work update, I've been out doing interviews, I've been to 3 in the past week or so.  I've even invested a little (via the trusty 'we'll charge you xyz exhorbitant interest rate' mastercard) on some new interview/work outfits.  Feeling very professional-looking, nervous as sin in interviews as I've been with the one company for 7 years, and stuffing them up to varying degrees of sheer blondeness. 

Waking Up To A Mouse

The day of my first interview for a while and I woke up to paws going whump-whump...whumpwhumpwhump alongside me on the bedspread.  Any cat-owner KNOWS what this is code for. "Hey MUM look what I got you, you're gonna be sooo pleased with this creepie-crawly!"  I shot from dead asleep to near-vertical in one smooth frantic motion while switching on the lamp and saying "OHSHIT" in one loud voice.  This time it was a poor little grey mouse.  I KNOW that they're pests but they're so damn cute I feel sorry for them.  I can't let them go I can't kill them.  Weak.  Yup totally.

On the Soapbox...

Okay, my opinion, not that I'm sure it matters, whether they are kangaroos, seals whatever the animal.   If the environmentalists have decided the numbers need to be cut back for the betterment of the environment in the area, then they should be culled humanely.  I disagree just as strongly with some idiots who get drunk in their outback ute and go out "roo-shooting" as I have an issue with people going out clubbing to death any animal.  You can't tell me that that kind of method of despatch is humane. 

Now I've NEVER heard anyone tell me that for environmental reasons, whales need to be culled to control their numbers.  Remind me again if I'm wrong, but aren't they endangered?.  There I've said it. 

Well it's less than a week now until I move house.  The final inspection of my current place has come and gone and it's all been successful.  It's surreal that this time next week I'll be in my new place. I'm excited & nervous - I loathe moving.  The new place doesn't have a bath so I'll have to make the most of this one before I go.  It's going to be a sharp turnaround time for moving - the keys for this place are legally due at the same time the keys are due for the new place.  I've booked a removalist for Sat morning at 9:30am.  I'm PRAYING they show up on time - but removalists never do *BIG WINCE*

Angel-Weariness.  What to say.  I care about him, sometimes too much and my defensive walls feel like they're crumbling.  Spending time with him makes me feel good at the time but seems empty of any substance later but I don't have any time to meet anyone more real - real meaning more really 'there' rather than on a whim.  Sometimes I think he cares, other times I think he's a player.  Luckily it's never been an issue because he doesn't seek any kind of commitment beyond assuming we'll see each other once a week.  It's disappointing & hurtful that he doesn't show interest in my life beyond a certain level, (he's never once really asked me with great enthusiasm ANYTHING about the new place which is a pretty huge thing in my life).  But not too hurtful and certainly not surprising after 3 years.  He seems to see me as "his" somehow on some kind of comfort/taking for granted level but likes to chase when I back away.  It's nice for now but he doesn't own me - he could win my whole heart if he tried properly but he's never tried and not likely to (I wonder if hell is feeling frosty)  He'll quite possibly find that out the hard way that he doesn't own me.  Right now I'm off the whole thing all together.  If I'm lonely again I might weaken.  I hope not though - I'm not proud of the situation and I do NOT want to be a doormat. 

So, onto cheerier topics, I'm away from work for 2 weeks.  It took working til 7 at least 3 or more nights over last week but I got nearly everything together well enough for my boss to take over the reins and prearranged a heap.  I was also told, disappointingly enough for me anyway, "you'd best make sure not a THING is out of place or there'll be hell to pay when you get back" (in a nutshell slightly differently worded but that was the gist).  I worked my ASS off.  If it's not in order, tough.  Then it comes down to the amount of work.

I'm fighting a cold, first day of ...well let's just say a severely sore abdomen woke me up (sorry lads for the overshare and I'm keeping this anonymous) woo this week of packing boxes is going to be "schpecial" to be facetious. 

I'm happy though - stressed from house move, being behind in my online studies.. but I'm good. i need more of a social life back (and to meet NORMAL guys perhaps) but for the time being, house move, study, and family have ruled my life.   They are my own goals though.  

One of the young tartlets from work, kind of pretty, tidy little figure but not stunning, has since starting been boasting about how men act like she's man-catnip.  So it's kind of ironic when someone who was working as a manager with us until recently, as her boss, she dabbles with, even though he's married with babyaged children. 

Now we all knew he was easy.  He'd be down the pub with us all after work, one of the guys who I've talked about as disappointing me when it comes to married men making themselves overly available for taken men.  This one has even shockingly boasted about his sexual preclivaties (spelling?) you get the idea anyway..I'd rather not spell out the stuff he was boasting about but it was degrading considering he was discussing doing it to his wife, loudly to anyone who would listen.  SO with this in mind, miss so young men want me/pant after me but I know how to handle them came unstuck and got emotionally involved with seeing her married boss.  It was consensual. But how thick is he REALLY to do something so stupid?  He was always a flirt who missed being single but even when blitzed would still gush about loving his wife. 

Well, at his farewell a few of the staff knew of the situation (names and co'y name never provided to protect my butt but also to avoid being indiscreet), and he's flirting with all the girls from work.  I was propositioned to go back to the office for a quickie, (rejected wth amusement), but then later while he was really drunk he's brushing my hair out from my face to tell me quite sweetly that he thought I was very beautiful, and that he could remember the first time he saw me and when and where it was and started to describe it.  *wince*  Little Miss All That got very upset and teary at the fact that she was being ignored, that he was getting drunk and rowdy and flirty.  AWWW ...how does she think he ended up in bed with her?  Should it really be that much of a shock?  We're all smarter than to take him up on it though.  We all like him and he's a hottie for sure, but he's a MARRIED FATHER.  That's the killer of the whole thought for me.  It should've been for her.  She's not THAT young to be naieve, and certainly seems used to male attention (or so  she boasts). 

Am I being harsh? Hey, I say good for her that she does get male attention, the bit I'm judging is where she decided to explore it further.

My list of excuses:

1. I had to re-do a 15 page written report on an industrial relations scenario as my lovely lecturer decided to be harsher on me than everyone else in my class!  I was procrastinating going near my computer putting off thinking about the huge task ahead of me.
2. Work - I've been so fried and down about my boss taking her lousy moods out on me and the people around me and mood swinging from someone who I really like and admire, to mainly nasty negative critical demotivating crud lately...  I've just been in a foul skulking mood.  I've been miserable enough this past week to hate the thought of getting up the next morning to go to work and dreading Monday mornings wondering what new little scheme she'll think up to criticise me for.  Oh and her goals for the upcoming year?  MASSIVE.  Given my current workload, they're just RIDICULOUS.  It's really getting to me.  I keep seeing the target of just getting through my current training and if nothing has changed in this area, I'm out of there.
3. Lovelife, nil.  Plenty of drooling drunken idiots .. (tales to follow in future posts) but nothing more genuine.  Angel turned Hunter still hangs around.
4. The neutral painting of the house continues... slowly around other priorities. 
5. I've tried to have a social life of late.  That's been interesting but uneventful.  I've had hmmm lemme count... 1, 2, 3, 4 indecent proposals, one invitation to dinner and serenaded from the door of a pub, and harboured a crush on a sweet but totally not interested coworker.

IN BREAKING NEWS...

1. I've yet to strangle my manager, but at each few unhelpful spiteful digs each day I swear her goose is cooked.
2. I passed the re-done industrial relations assignment and another one which was due at the same time.  One last assignment to go then a new phase of study (harder) commences.  Another 7-8 months though and I'll have the full qualification.
3. I've worked a total of hmm (counting again)... approx 6 hours overtime this past week or so, and got told STILL despite this, that an afternoon taken off yesterday to have a free secondhand aircon unit installed in my home, had to be used to work from home on something from my laptop rather than the afternoon just being taken off. 
4. So on that note, I have had airconditioning installed.  Just in time for the first real wintry weeks of the year... *snort*  now I just have to figure out how to get the reverse cycle part of it working so I can HEAT the place.  (oh, and forgive an Ozzie for laughing at this.. but one of our new starters who relocated from Canada, did not bring any kind of clothing other than short sleeved t shirts to live here for 4 years... she thought that we never get cold weather ...hee hee.  Maybe not as cold as they get it but I'm sure the minus 2 or so degrees celcius nights during winter will still be a bit brisk for her in a tshirt!

A comment that will have feminiists out there gasping in horror.  "Sometimes, when I've had a particularly crappy week, I don't WANT to be so independant.  I hate having to be tough all the time". 

There, I said it and I wasn't struck by lightning.  I had such a lousy week last week.  I had a fellow staff member from another office in another state call me screaming and vile down the phone spitefully having a go at me about getting something done.  I'd only done what I'd been told to by my manager and I'd kept her in the loop the whole way along about where I was up to.  Not my fault.  Simple.  Well this woman from interstate got VILE and spoke down at me like I was some junior reporting to her (but no junior deserves the tone and overall demeanour I was copping down the phone).

I handled it calmly and professionally with a bit of bit-back frustration, kept her to the issue and we kept on point and dealt with the problem, after about 15 minutes of abuse which had me shaking at the end of it.  I was upset. I was proud of myself for handling it without biting back given she was getting so nasty, but it didn't take the bitter shock out of being spoken to like that.  I got emailed TallFriend telling her "fark going home and checking for my lecturer's review of my draft assignment, we're heading to the pub!".  I was upset, vulnerable and pathetically (very unprofessional career-womanlike I'm sure), and would've killed for a hug. 

I emailed Angel from work saying simply, "I'm heading to the pub after work, or I'm gonna punch something!" (my little toughie way of admitting I was upset, rather than telling him my lower lip was trying ever so hard to stop from wobbling).  I'll give him full credit, I got an instant response of "hey are you ok? what happened?"  so I told him and got an instant tirade of concerned fury on my behalf back over email which was really sweet.  Damn.  He's a friend, but then shows concern to that kind of level and I just wish he cared that bit more than he really does (being realistic).  He offered to sms me later to make sure I was ok, offering to pick me up after the pub (though I was still cynical about his motives for that). 

It's times like at that afternoon last week, where I really sookily wished there was someone in my life I could go home to for a hug, who could assure me that everything would be ok as it'd been a lousy week with my boss having a ratty go at me despite me working through a splitting migraine to get her monthly management reports done earlier in the week. 

I can be tough, but jeez I get sick of always having to BE tough.  Angel comments about how self sufficient I am in terms of doing things like painting around inside the house and minor things like that around the house.  I think he got a kick out of seeing my hot pink hammer. I mean, c'mon it had to be done really.  :)  for sheer giggle factor.

I worry that I keep that tough facade up too much from having to at work to make me less vulnerable, but also making me less human, less approachable and less fun to be around.  But just when I start to relax and socialise, I get my head totally blasted off my shoulders like last week.  By the end of last week, and another example of my boss switching messages on me to react to the latest manager-whine and I was feeling pretty damn disillusioned and fed up with my job, and on top of that to get the email ripping my DRAFT assigment to shreds, my motivation to continue study, to continue in the job were all out the window and I had a weekend of skulking, (by that stage nursing my black eye courtesy of Nephew!) procrastinating and generally asking myself if it was a job a) I was cut out for (doubting myself at the first study stumbling bock), b) that I WANTED if it was going to mean much more crap from my manager taking her moods out on me rather than defending me when I'm only following one set of her instructions.  I find myself disillusioned and getting surly and I have to mentally pull on the reins because I've started to fight back with my manager, when, when she's in a mood, just won't get me anywhere and angers her further.

*sigh* after working on the assignment, doing stuff to the house, pressure on me to work unpaid over time (which I've done happily in the past when I thought it would clear a momentary overload but the workload is now constantly too much for one person and I'm getting sick of it not only being taken for granted, but when I'm not working the hours through trying to get my assignment, housework etc done, I'm copping abuse for not getting as much done which infuriates me) well it's been a tough few weeks, and on top of it emotional pressure from a few friends who have been pouting on me because I don't dance to their tune (mind you, not much sympathy from the people I'm thinking of either or understanding), ick at times I feel like I am copping it from several directions at once. 

On good news, dad gave me some shares which apparently could shoot up to as much as $10k in the next 5 weeks!  He's however trying to warn me to keep hold of them as he thinks they'll go much further.  Aw c'mon... struggling homeowner doing it all by herself and ya want her to do WHAAA?  Dat just MEAN!  Sis and her hubbie are giving me their leather loungesuite soon (COOOLLL), and my brother in law is giving me a second hand aircon unit from his swanky danky inner city apartment which he's been using as an office, I've been sitting under the right apple tree for sure so life could be far worse in the scheme of things.

Angel plagued me all weekend perhaps sensing a chink in my armour, perhaps because we've been closer than ever this past week in sharing a few things bugging us, repeatedly attempting to get around me with the idea of a late night catch up.  But it just hurt/insulted me that rather than making arrangements to spend time with me, he simply wants to pop around for a little late night relief.  Excuse me if I don't find that flattering.  :(  especially given the sook mood I've been in this week (probably a good thing we didn't catch up as I've been too vulnerable anyway).  I'm sick of having to be tough though. Fri night I got a sobby phone call from TallFriend who had had a friend abuse her. Again I was the strong one cheering her up.  Noone has seen me cry, but damn it'd be nice just to even snuggle up into someone and feel the reassurance of a strong presence.  It's times like this I miss being in a relationship as pathetic as that is. 

As a friend of mine's been fond of quoting lately "take a good dose of 'toughen-up' and call me in the morning!"  :)

Here are my results, have a squiz if you're curious.  I found it quite interesting.  Previously, I was less confident until I took up study and felt more like I've taken my career into my own hands by plucking up the guts to go.  It was a huge step for me though, going outside my comfortzone.  I found the link on Rogue's post.

It had me thinking about myself and where I am mentally and emotionally.  Overall despite my fears about screwing up something at work at times, or not being able to complete this latest assignment coming up (oh by the way, I got "excellent work" for my first assignment - woohoo!), despite occasional bummed out moods I'm a happy person.  I worry about the fact that my wish to take my work seriously makes me rather unpopular at times at work when I get too focussed on the tasks and forget to smile and have fun with my coworkers unless the moment needs me to be soft and understanding as part of my work.  I have to remember to be a part of the work 'community' and sometimes I really lose that and get taken the wrong way.

Out of work, I'm the emotional sook to people close to me, but I'm closed off behind walls unless I trust someone enough to open up.  I find the older I get, the less I open up to everyone and I get more selective.  Maturity or distrust who knows.  I've got to try to find that balance I guess. 

Life in general, well I picked a bad time to do the test, given I'm going through a period of transition - taking on a more professional career as opposed to clerical work, (registered today to become a member of the professional body covering that type of work today ouchies at the fee, tax deductible), assignment to get done, work is BEEZY but I'm confident that for the most part I'm doing it well but worried about one aspect which I might've let slip, planning on what to do with the house now that I've investigated my options a little and been on a mission to get the house ready, I feel like I've been neglecting my friends a little but usually all I do is flit around trying to catch up with them all and never get myself organised so things have been a bit out of the norm for me lately.  In a good way but I don't want to mess up my friendships either. 

Angel - I told him I needed to back away from the friendship after last week's email exchange and explained why but he totally didn't get it and told me I 'got the wrong end of the stick' whatever that means.  No apology for hurting me by pushing the conversation too far and rubbing my nose in it.. nothing.  Just surliness that I'd not been responding to his sms and was not interested in playing by his rules.  Mph.  too bad.

I'm going to apply to have a day off just before the easter break - I need some downtime and the next assignment will be a biatch - 8 pages to be precise, written by me, a report.  YEOWCH.  And this weekend is JNL's wedding. Cool but I'll be away over night (mind you she hissyfitted when I told her I couldn't go initially despite the fact that the wedding will be 4 hours away and an overnight stay that at the time I couldn't afford). I know, I've made these decisions which have come up at this time but it's been just me continuing to live my life it's not been deliberate to focus on myself.

I find myself lately wondering what invisible leprechaun I've caught by its ankle and I keep expecting the other shoe to drop.  My lovelife has never been more non-existent, but everything else has been falling into place.  It's almost like God has shaken His head, clucked and said "oh dear, she's relationship-disabled, so here ya go hun, here's some good luck to cheer you up".  (said with a laugh at myself and with no disrespect/offence meant to the religious).

I got a call from a friend yesterday, whose sister I'd spoken with about a year and a half to two years ago and impressed her that much about my work ethic, that she called her sister as soon as she had a vacancy for her Assistant, and asked my friend to ask me if I'm interested.  It would've been a $15-$20k increase, but the instability of a contract role, and possibly a backward step in tasks. 

It's come the same weekend as I wait to hear the response from the real estate agent who came around on Saturday morning to give me an estimate of what they think my house is currently worth.  I plan to talk to a mortgage broker early this week to find out my lending power, put the two together and figure out what I could afford to move onto and whether this is worth doing.  Max would adore it - I would try to make sure I found a place where he could go outside. My cat wouldn't know himself!  I don't need a place with such a big yard.  SO I guess what I'm saying is in a nutshell, before I get too much done to this place I was trying to suss out what I really wanted to do.  It would decide what things I would do to my current home - for my comfort or for re-sale value. 

Meantime my brother in law has found a second hand airconditioning unit for me to use for my house.  What a good lad he is!  This, and within the next few months I'll also be getting one of their leather loungesuites which they've decided they no longer want (6 months old still as new off white leather, soft).  They're also moving into a place with a built in barbq.  They have a top of the line barbq - I'm getting it. 

SO, aside from the disastrous lovelife, things are good.  Though I didn't make J's hens night last night.  I was fighting a migraine and had an assignment half done due tomorrow which I wasn't making headway on and the last thing I wanted was to drink.  Simple.  The head was getting to me, there was so much swimming around in my head,and my friend J I love to bits and pieces but she's a little high maintenance at the best of times - her hens night I knew would be no exception and she's the same person who always says I'm no fun to be around unless I'm drunk.  I hate drinking around her because I feel like a trained poodle barking on command and it peeves me.  So I didn't go.  I sms'd her (what a coward am I - I feel bad) told her I was fighting a migraine, which I was but it wasn't at the stage which I made it out to be, (it soon would've if I'd gone and I would've been a cranky wet blanket trying to smile and play nicey and not in the party mood in the slightest). 

So guys - question - if offered a large wad of cash to do a job with less stability (and you're paying a mortgage in this hypothetical), and less job satisfaction - would you do it?  Especially when it has an end date?  Give me your thoughts.  I've already more or less made up my mind.  So much to think about and decide this weekend.. how self absorbed am I - a former close nearly best friend who I've grown apart from and she's stopped including me in her social arrangements (more out of us growing apart in interests and some of her critical nature was starting to rub me the wrong way) is getting married in two weeks and I'm tossing up major-ish decisions about my life.  Anyway, give me your thoughts.

The weekend was a funny one - I went out with TallFriend for "just one drink, her shout" at the local pub around the corner from my home in what I have to admit is a bit of a dodgy area. The pub went silent when we walked in. we were the only women in there under the age of 50 and definitely the only women without mullets.  *CRINGE*

We had our one quick drink, got a second, and went to play a game of pool (I've been by this stage rapidly realising that my good mate TallFriend was a reverse society snob.  She prefers her people to socialise with, as relaxed and as comfortable with their early 80's bogan roots as possible.  I went through my bogan phase just like a lot of people might have, but I outgrew mine.  I still like some of the music but I can't say I listen to it every day - my interests changed.  These days hearing some of it just reminds me of my late teens/early 20's and being married to a guy in the army.  A phase in my life and a learning curve.  Anyhow, I think TallFriend accused me of being a square. SO, I drank her under the table and fended off a 60-something greek man who was very sweet, very overkeen and oh-so rejected all night, named Albert.

The hangover for a bit on Saturday then the rest of the day hunting airconditioners, stoves and daydreaming over other electronica equipment.  Then Saturday night I babysat for JNL and her fiance.  Their little cutie was crying every few hours (unsettled - poor little bugger is teething), and my friends didn't get home til around 3am.  They offered for me to crash but I decided instead after one very wretchedly tacky nappy etc, I needed to go home, sleep in my own bed and fuss over max who curled up next to me.

Sunday I couldn't sleep in which drove me nuts.  I tried to focus on my assignment, but couldn't and instead got very zealously into vaxing the loungeroom, polishing all the timber furniture and doing the laundry & dishes.  The house sparkles but I've sat up tonight post-class to get some of my assignment done.  *wince* the kicker is I would've been doing the wrong stuff if I hadve started yesterday.  Yay for me. 

Well, bosslady is away this week and my life at work as we know it is making me melt.  :(  have a nice night.