10 posts tagged “sex”

Loving the new baner/template.  Funny .. what do you think my little word association thing was, for "The L Word".  ?  :)  You might not get it right necessarily as two came to mind.  Bit of a seesaw really.

And on that, I caught up with Angel Boy again on Thurs night.  Weak I know.  I missed him.  He told me he had missed me as well.  I just wanted some company but wasn't fooling myself into thinking he'd changed or would change.  He was quite keen to come window shopping with me while I looked at electrical goods.  I thought it was really amusing/quaint when he went to talk to the salesmen on my behalf trying to act like "The Man" and take charge (silly mental picture at this point of him in a cowboy hat chewing on straw saying let me take care of this litte missy which had me almost giggling to myself as these salesmen knew me pretty well from a lot of brow-beatings over the year).  Well, the salesman who started talking to us had seen me in there only about 4 days previous when Betty the laptop had gone bung for a little bit.  Whatever it was, mister salesman, while trying to wriggle out of honouring the warranty, triggered both my ire for a bit and something in the latop obviously got jostled enough for it to start working again.  Wahoo.  I thanked him, let us both out of that debate and sadly, went on to shop for laptop bags as I'd brought Betty in to them in a woven shopping bag.  Sadly, because one minute I was about to do battle, the next I'm spending more cash in the same store.  Pathetic.  But I got a lovely bag which I desperately needed.  Or so I'd convinced myself.  ;)

So to flash forward again to the Thursday night just gone, Angel is 'taking charge' like we're in a relationship and a certain part of me felt relieved to let someone else deal with the haggling.  I can be the woman of steel no bull gets past this girl type person when I have to be, but I don't want to HAVE to be that strong person 24/7.  It was nice.  Deadly in terms of confusing our own nonrelationship but seriously... I just went with the flow to enjoy the evening and give him a buzz.  I can be a bit too forthright with him sometimes and didn't want to add to that emasculation by getting peevish about something silly.  So I left him to haggle and wandered around to have a look at a few other things with the bemused salesman looking sideways from Angel to myself at times almost quizzically at times and when Angel wasn't looking I got a few smirks as if he knew exactly what I was doing by not doing anyhing. 

We did some further window shopping and then he decided he just HAD to buy the same bedsheets as me.  How bloody strange is all I can say. 

He swings between mister "I am an old fashioned guy who wants to take charge, help and be needed" to "I'm sorry, too much partying to do..who are you again?" ...

Thursday night Max is turning himself inside out rubbing himself all over Angel's legs, claiming Angel's laptop bag as his by rubbing his cheeks over it and generally welcoming Angel into the house.  Angel has seen Max almost at his worst back in the days when Max thought all humans were out to hurt him and so he wanted to mutillate them, so Angel was as surprised as me.  He gushed about how my cat must like him and insinuating that he was part of the family.  My guard was up, I was not going to play any stupid pretend for a night games especially anything that nuts. I've known the guy 3 years and he's called me his angel but never said the 3 little words, never included me in his social life and not really taken me out anywhere.  I'm fairly clear on where he is NOT coming from. But damn by the time he left much later, with a comfortable companionship vibe happening, playfullness.. it's still far too much of a trap unless it might actually go somewhere.  I'm probably going to end up freaking out and backing away from him again for a bit.  Oh and sure enough mister "I'll drunken sms Blondie to let her know I'm thinking of her even when out with the boys" has not been doing any of that for weeks now.  Including the whole weekend.  He's dropped back off the map again.  Just as well I don't NEED him around.

Oh and is it completely ironic that he was watching that crime tv show with Chris Noth on it, and commented on him being Mr Big.  Angel has an eery resemblance to Chris Noth and the ironcy of Chris's character on SATC wasn't lost on me.  And I don't believe in fairy tale endings.  I wish I could but I can't.   

I bought some stunning new bedroom linnen a few weeks ago.  I told GF about it in a rare moment of trying to be nice/girly chatty with her again despite not trusting her any more these days.  She hurt me friend-ways to the point that I gave up our constant contact and distanced myself.  Then when she WAS calling me the only constant reliable thing I could predict is within the first 2 questions would be the inevitable "soo...HOW'S ANGEL?" or any variation thereof.  It killed the trust completely.

So I opened up finally a few weeks ago and told her some of the things going on in my life in a rare opening up window of relaxed chatter and re-live the old friendship for a bit and trying to recapture the old feeling of relaxed trust.  I told her about the new sexy linnen (scarlett & black feminine shiny & velvet in parts but still not over the top or tacky).  Her reaction?  "ha ha ha so it's kind of like 'if I built it, they will come!' " 

Initially I laughed at it, as we always used to laugh at ourselves.  It was funny especially given it's almost true at the moment.  But given she's had a mighter than thou, "Im going to surround myself with beautiful people these days" bend (seriously folks, a direct quote when we'd been distant..it insulted me and disgusted me in equal portions) .. well I was a bit sensitive to her real thoughts popping out and a little touchy still.

See, I KNOW her, it's one of her bug-bears about her personality, the fact that she'll pop out zingers which she actually means and she hates that, those moments of untimely truthfulness which dig her into a deep hole.  I'm probably being oversensitive but jeez it bugged me.  So ell me what a big baby I'm being.

One of the young tartlets from work, kind of pretty, tidy little figure but not stunning, has since starting been boasting about how men act like she's man-catnip.  So it's kind of ironic when someone who was working as a manager with us until recently, as her boss, she dabbles with, even though he's married with babyaged children. 

Now we all knew he was easy.  He'd be down the pub with us all after work, one of the guys who I've talked about as disappointing me when it comes to married men making themselves overly available for taken men.  This one has even shockingly boasted about his sexual preclivaties (spelling?) you get the idea anyway..I'd rather not spell out the stuff he was boasting about but it was degrading considering he was discussing doing it to his wife, loudly to anyone who would listen.  SO with this in mind, miss so young men want me/pant after me but I know how to handle them came unstuck and got emotionally involved with seeing her married boss.  It was consensual. But how thick is he REALLY to do something so stupid?  He was always a flirt who missed being single but even when blitzed would still gush about loving his wife. 

Well, at his farewell a few of the staff knew of the situation (names and co'y name never provided to protect my butt but also to avoid being indiscreet), and he's flirting with all the girls from work.  I was propositioned to go back to the office for a quickie, (rejected wth amusement), but then later while he was really drunk he's brushing my hair out from my face to tell me quite sweetly that he thought I was very beautiful, and that he could remember the first time he saw me and when and where it was and started to describe it.  *wince*  Little Miss All That got very upset and teary at the fact that she was being ignored, that he was getting drunk and rowdy and flirty.  AWWW ...how does she think he ended up in bed with her?  Should it really be that much of a shock?  We're all smarter than to take him up on it though.  We all like him and he's a hottie for sure, but he's a MARRIED FATHER.  That's the killer of the whole thought for me.  It should've been for her.  She's not THAT young to be naieve, and certainly seems used to male attention (or so  she boasts). 

Am I being harsh? Hey, I say good for her that she does get male attention, the bit I'm judging is where she decided to explore it further.

I'm not talking dirty guys, but sensuous, sexy but not sleazy.  What do you find pushes your buttons without PUSHING YOUR BUTTONS. 

For me, it was an ex of mine who used to give me an hour long massage, back shoulders, neck, scalp, then he'd rest my head against his legs (keeping this clean guys minds out of the gutter) and would massage my face tenderly before kissing me upside down.. that whole kiss of the lower lip... stunning.  Simply stunning.  No intent beyond worshipping each other.  Sexy as hell without an agenda.

Playfights - not too rough, fun, playful, flirtatious, especially with someone who there is sexual tension with ...rrowrl.  The longer it's prolonged without trying to change the tone it builds the tension which is just fabulous.

I love the commentaries on this topic by NotSexAndTheCity's girls.  I've even adopted the term, given we have a very spacious stationery cupboard area which is more of a supplies room in size and a friend of mine and I joke (privately) about whatever hotties are located in our respective offices.  No harm in an innocent scenery crush on someone from work, is there?  :) 

SO, fess up guys.  Have you ever had a crush on someone in your workplace.  Even if you're attached and would never act upon it, you liven up and get more animated & chatty in the tearoom when you see them, or you find your eyes being drawn to have a discreet perve on them, knowing it won't go any further but it brightens the tedium of our days. 

C'mon we all do it don't we?  Or am I the only degenerate?  

If I'm completely honest, I've had the odd fantasy on occasion about some office hottie.  Not all the time and not fixating, but every 5 or so years I see someone around the office that sets off a little scenario in my head which is to me rather risque.  I'd never want it to actually HAPPEN but it certainly spices up my day a little. Or maybe it's just when I've not gotten any in ages and I'm out of batteries (eek sorry for the overshare!).

It's a giggle.  Well not really, but there is irony.  I'm getting emails from my aunty in Canada who I grew so close to while she visited, talking about a fireman she started dating before she left and how he's all wrong for her but refuses to let her go even though he's not emotionally available. 

Maybe it runs in the family.  Maybe it's because deep down we really do want to stay single?  I'm trying to break out of the habit, but Angel went and emailed me today after sms'ing me yesterday again asking if he could see me.  Part of me KNOWS the cycle, that he's just missing me as a gap filler in between other women and that hurts.  Part of me misses the closeness of being with someone and it seems like a good second option except it isnt in reality.  It would really help if I didn't get emails from him cheekily suggesting that I'd sleep better (I've been sleeping lousily) if I had the right company to snuggle up to for the night.  JEEZ  my mistake for once telling him that that is what I miss the most, or hang on, did I?  I actually think I've only ever confessed that on here and he does NOT have the location or ID of this blog (thank GOODNESS).

To add insult to injury, I was feeling GOOOD about myself today (I was wearing an outfit which I know flatters me, my hair freshly washed and falling in waves instead of going frizzy or that nonwash day hair thing that is lank ..long hair and the hassles of it... ) I was smelling good, and I was confident.  The weather was georgeous I was in a fairly decent mood, and I'd been getting a lot of attentive genuine-sounding friendship from Angel over email (ironically telling me that GF uses me up and I should blow her off as he figures she's using me... I've heard much the same from her on the topic of him *laughing*).  The sentiment was cute anyway.  I was having the whole internal debate with myself about NOT weakening to him meantime enjoying the breeze and sun on my freshly smooth-shaven legs (I don't wear skirts very often and as feeling fairly girly) and damn who walks up beside me while I'm ordering my lunch than Angel, looking as usual, GOOD...really good.  No fair.  He's even smiling his specially warm friendly smile. 

We talked briefly, walked together back towards work and then went our separate ways back to work with me knowing we were both wistful about being alone together.  I just wish some of that wistfulness on his part was more emotional about me rather than about his needs (emotional and physical).  SO not fair.  I got more chatty emails in the afternoon for a bit talking about how he wanted to see me and asking when we could catch up.  DANG. 

The thing is, if Gilligan was just a little more actively interested or making himself known, Angel would be that much easier to resist.  Let's face it, the cupboard is a bit bare and Angel is FAR from a last resort.

Ok I totally love the writing of the girls on "Not Sex And The City" especially for this recent post, and the unforgettable post about "getting pens" I still joke about getting pens with my girlfriends and they look at me quizzically so I have to then explain the past post.

I'm raising a hand up to chime in and say to the girls "hell yes"  I need a man not a mouse.  Someone who cares enough not to walk all over me though, but who isn't afraid to stand up to me as I'm not exactly a socially shrinking violet.  Problem is, the only nice guys I'm meeting lately are either a) interested in only size 6 women, or b) too shy or timid to handle my at times big personality (not bignoting myself, I'm just not shy on the surface).

So take a moment to peruse some of their posts especially "get pens" (love it). As un-PC as that post is, hell yes I'm all for that as a fantasy.  In reality, if our dweeby IT man tried that, he'd be hobbling doubled over to the nearest hospital  :)  *shudder*

I liked this topic that Steph put out for discussion "what do you consider to be sacred within a relationship?  Do you talk about your sexlife with your friends?" I'd put it out there for QOTD except I haven't got a clue how to drive this thing properly yet and put the question to the masses.  But visitors feel free..

Me, nope.  When I'm with someone I'm with them.  I'm loyal to a fault.  Perhaps too much so given I've never had it completey reciprocated.  If it's a fling (rare but happens) or someone who insists on treating me like meat, well, revenge is sweet under the cover of anonymity if my friend doesn't know the person. Trivialising it makes me feel like I have some kind of say about how serious or not it is too which of course I do.  But I'm still selective about who I would talk to about that sort of thing. 

Fifteen days ago, I read that smoking can kill you;
The next day I stopped smoking.
Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you;
The next day I stopped eating red meat..
Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you;
The next day I stopped drinking.
Yesterday, I read that having sex can kill you;

This morning I stopped reading.........

The girls have talked about this before and it's something I've been musing on (not inspired by seeing Angel last night at all, and before I go on, the headline should warn you - if you're a delicate flower about anything s*x related, you might want to bypass this post). ... Ok the preliminaries out of the road...

I wish more guys would recognise the signals we throw out there.  If I'm in bed with someone (said under anonymity here), I hope that the guy can recognise my mood.  Sometimes a girl wants to be treated like someone's pride possession, cherished.  Sometimes, mm how to delicately put this, far from it.  ;)  

Things go a lot more smoothly when we're both in the same frame of mind at and on the same page but I've noticed (geez I'm going to sound like a tramp but here goes anyway) not everyone has been great at picking up on the not so subtle signals between moods.