35 posts tagged “gf”

Ok the title was more to get your attention and to invite comments. 

Example.  JNL had me over for dinner on Sat night along with two of her other girlfriends.  When one girlfriend was out of the room, JNL was sniping and rolling her eyes in disagreement with that friend's parenting methods.  When the other girl left later, JNL was sniping to the former recipient about how this person's photos their wedding weren't good enough and that the recent departed person had been more concerned with her appearance than about taking the photos.  mph 

Also during the night JNL got a fair few jabs in at the latter recipient about things that were obviously peeving her.  I'd not have put up with it. 

I'm disappointed.  JNL boasts about "giving good friendship" but to me that sort of thing isn't good friendship.  Perhaps I don't gush and fuss s much as she puts on, with friends, but at least what people see and get is GENUINE.  So where is the line between having a difference of opinion on things, and bitchiness really?  The first recipient (the parent) did do a lot of things that to most people probably wouldn't agree with but I wouldn't see the necessity to discuss what I thought with people who know the person.  jeez. 

Between her and GF, I'm wondering if the common factor is me and I'm just not tolerant enough to people's foibles and I'm not exactly an angel myself. 

So where do you draw the line on bad behaviour in friends? especially close ones or ones you've known for YEARS. ?

Woohoo I got a cash offer for $5k more than my minimum but subject to a 6 week settlement - aiee!  The little funky place so close in that I had my heart set on has gone dammit. So now I'm out madly house hunting.  If I don't find something I like though, I'll have to store my stuff in storage, and board max for a few weeks hopefully no more than 3 or 4 weeks.  *WINCE*

I don't want to rush into a place for the sake of it however.

Meantime (sorry guys who don't get the restricted posts as work ones I've taken to hiding and some work ones are combined updates - only neighbours can view those), Angel and I had been catching up at least once a week, getting along so well - no dramas no arguments, if there are any worries by either of us we talk it out, it's been too easy to fall into a very old trap of thinking that I really like spending time with this guy.  He's nice, comfortable to be with, damn sexy.. but a self confessed louse in the past.  :S  bugger.  And sure enough after catching up to spend the whole night together 3 or 4 times in the past 2.5/3 weeks, he seems to be starting to cool and starting his old habit of suggesting only catching up late at night.  If anything I'd want to progress towards catching up socially amongst friends but no chance at all of that.  Meh.  There is a lot that is good about him and we have a close friendship but I'm going to have to cool that connection if this is all that is on offer. 

It's been nice though as a not-relationship, to stave off loneliness, to receive enthusiastic appreciative attention.  But it's hardly a relationship and I know his signals well enough to know when his attention is waivering.  Stuff chasing him like some lovelorn puppy.  He's lucky to have me, I was lucky to have him too for a bit. 

But seriously to be kept at arm's length like a big secret, it can be fun sometimes but eventually it gets really old and tired and irritating.

GF has been friendly lately but also had a schiz turn at me calling me at work getting savage wanting to know what I've said to a male friend of hers.   I'm also always treated like a backup to another friend of hers which is nuts.  A childish part of me feels like I'm back in school with the stupid friend politics of that era, another part of me cannot be bothered with it all - I didn't go out with her and her cronies on Friday night as I was tired and freaked out after being completely screamed at over 2 days by a psycho boss - GF turned it around and into a "so what are you REALLY doing tonight?".  I didn't need the crap at the time.   

I bought some stunning new bedroom linnen a few weeks ago.  I told GF about it in a rare moment of trying to be nice/girly chatty with her again despite not trusting her any more these days.  She hurt me friend-ways to the point that I gave up our constant contact and distanced myself.  Then when she WAS calling me the only constant reliable thing I could predict is within the first 2 questions would be the inevitable "soo...HOW'S ANGEL?" or any variation thereof.  It killed the trust completely.

So I opened up finally a few weeks ago and told her some of the things going on in my life in a rare opening up window of relaxed chatter and re-live the old friendship for a bit and trying to recapture the old feeling of relaxed trust.  I told her about the new sexy linnen (scarlett & black feminine shiny & velvet in parts but still not over the top or tacky).  Her reaction?  "ha ha ha so it's kind of like 'if I built it, they will come!' " 

Initially I laughed at it, as we always used to laugh at ourselves.  It was funny especially given it's almost true at the moment.  But given she's had a mighter than thou, "Im going to surround myself with beautiful people these days" bend (seriously folks, a direct quote when we'd been distant..it insulted me and disgusted me in equal portions) .. well I was a bit sensitive to her real thoughts popping out and a little touchy still.

See, I KNOW her, it's one of her bug-bears about her personality, the fact that she'll pop out zingers which she actually means and she hates that, those moments of untimely truthfulness which dig her into a deep hole.  I'm probably being oversensitive but jeez it bugged me.  So ell me what a big baby I'm being.

SO I've done my homework, and my ultimate goal of a half ways decent place to buy for Max and I is a reality.  It almost cheered me up after an email from Angel (after a week of diffidence when I rejected an offer for a short visit...mhmm...no). 

The sheer insensitivity of it.  He was trying to cover himself as he knew a few people whom GF was sitting with at the pub last Friday (y'know.. the Friday we were all at peking duck and she'd piked as she had to work back *unimpressed face*).  He went up to chatter to a woman who I'll admit myself is strikingly wholesomely cute but tall and good looking.  I know her - she and I have been out drunkenly bonding before.  I really admire her.  Tall, slim bronze-limbed.  Your basic nightmare.  Well he's told me before he's worked with her before. Mhm.  But I had wondered when he hovered around to talk to her, whether there was something there but that night she told me that she was not interested in him in the SLIGHTEST and I drunkenly told her about my 'friendship' with him and how it confused me at times.

WELL, the email I got yesterday asked me if I still kept in contact with GF, and then went on to warn me that he had seen them on Fri night and that no doubt I'd get an earful.  I outright asked him over email if there was anything I should know which I'd prefer to hear from him rather than a smug GF.

Sure enough, he confesses that he was quite attracted to her back when he used to work with her.  Fair enough if he'd left it at that, I'd have been a little stung but happier that he'd been upfront. Instead he then went on about wanting to know if I had any gossip on her (grrr), whether she and I had talked about him and if so was it positive, and he then had the gall to twitter on to me about even IF she had felt any attraction for him how it would be difficult working in the same company, and how he's probably ruined his chances anyway and how he thinks she has a boyfriend and had the hide to ask me. 

I stood up for myself at this point and informed him he'd gone too far and I'd appreciate it if he didn't discuss her again with me because it was obvious he still had a very big thing for her and it stung given he apparently doesn't for me.  He then backpeddled saying he was only telling me to save me any grief from GF rubbing in my nose that he'd been talking with her.  I don't think I overreacted.  I felt pretty sick about it yesterday.  Of all people, one of GF's friends.  She'll just love that.  And has already told me that GoldenLimbed thinks of Angel as a past stalker.  Oh gee .. grreeaat.  :(  Pathetic as it was I actually felt low enough that I had a lump in my throat and had to have a bit of a bummed out skulk around the house last night.  I felt like I could've cried but the logical part of my mind kept saying "pfft is he WORTH tears? I mean, c'mon.. REALLY?"  He's been silent since I told him I wasn't so much jealous as hurt at him over-sharing to that degree.  I thought it was insensitive completely.

Needless to say, the "special friendship" is not feeling so special any more.  I really don't want to know him.  Part of me still pathetically wishes he'd come chasing to convince me that I've gotten it all wrong and he really feels... but that's just ridiculous after 3 years if it was going to happen it would've and to be honest I don't want him anyway as he has the social skills of a dead cactus.  But I'm still hurt/offended to be treated so out of hand like that.

It'll come as no surprise or shock really.  The turkey had the gall to email her to inform her that he had decided that they shouldn't make a go of it after all.  After they'd already started... erm... catching up.  Scumbag.  Over email no less.  Poor form.

What's the worst way you've been dumped?  At least I've never gotten a postit note I suppose..  (referring to SATC) but being told at 11pm at night after no prior communication that something was wrong, by my then defacto, that he didn't feel we should live together any more after he'd been a total jerk for a while has gotta be up there along with my 'first's' comment "I've tried to love you but I just can't"

Well, an update for those who read regularly - GF & Scuba are going to try dating exclusively.  She's over the moon.  And had to smugly tell me I should trying doing the same with Angel.  :S  

He and I have wavered between flirting (what can I say, the guy is a god, despite his obvious relationship flaws, and he's been attentive lately while I've been in a man-drought but I know it's still not a good idea, because I've been hurt in the past etc) anyhoo wavered between flirting and him throwing his single status in my face in a totally blunt way.  Sometimes he knows me so well, others he does a very good impression of being an insensitive uncaring guy. 

Well after a week of no-speakies (I swear the man has an instinct about when I'm pmsing) Angel was bored this afternoon at work and pestering me over email.  But I also think the fact that his Wifey pal is going back up north again shortly has a bit to do with it as well if I'm cynical.  The first email was a giggle though - he's discovered which carpark I park in when I drive to work which is frequently when I'm running late. He's even noticed a pattern of where I've been parking.  The email was teasing me about parking on xyz floor of xyz carpark and threatening to see if my dodgy dent is on the car if I deny it's me.  I haven't parked there for a few days.  He's obviously been thinking about it.  How strange.  I jokingly told him he's become my friendly neighbourhood stalker.  As if - that'd mean he cares in some way shape or form.  He's gone from silent and short sharp answers to chatty-chatty.

I received a call from GF this evening after dodging a call from her on the weekend.  Surprise surprise, she's bored, her new bestest buddy has deserted her and she's wanting to chat.  uh huh.  I was insulted and cynical.  But I was still happy to chat, just not as happy to treat things as if we were long lost besties.  So when she complained about having  no plans all weekend last weekend, I was quick to ask what the story was with her and her bestie.  Sure enough, they've had a distancing/temporary falling out.  Meantime she's trying to use me as a friend version of a gapfiller and strangely, I wasn't feeling too thrilled or flattered.  I let it go after making the comment that those two were usually not seen without each other as my reason for not mentioning to her that I was heading to the pub last Friday.  I think that said it all.

Lastly, an old friend's mother has been ringing me.  She used to be a 'client' of my tarot readings.  I use the term client though she never once paid me and I've never once charged anyone.  But as much as she acted like a pal it was always purely so that she could get me to do readings for her, even once expecting me to drive the hour and a half-two hour drive out to her place to do a reading for her.  NOT.  ON.  YOUR.  LIFE.  I saw it for what it was and the last sms I got from her a year ago was more or less a demand for me to come over to her place in a few hours notice to do a reading.  Needless to say I never made the drive.  It's strange, I was only just remembering the night I met her, two nights ago and wondering why her daughter and I lost contact.  After not thinking of her for over 6 months, I'm putting it down to my instincts which are usually really good.  But whether it was just a heads up that I was going to hear from her or if it was a sign I should help her... ahh I'm a little over being the go-to girl for anyone in problems who likes to use, when they aren't genuinely a friend of mine.  I need to be a bit more selfish as I've been used up by people in the past.  Let's face it, to get an sms this afternoon from MomofMel out of the blue after this sort of time, well I'm not stupid enough to believe it is out of some kind of pally wally motivation. So my gut reaction after getting this sms, was "gee I wonder what huge lovelife development has happened in her life, for her to be thinking of me again suddenly, wanting me to do her cards for free at her whim again like I hve nothing better to do than wait for her to call". 

Sometimes it's not so great that people respect my readings.  I'm beginning to see why people do charge for them.  If you're going to be used for a service, at least cut the crap and charge them so the relationship stays professional and you don't get the sycophants trying to kiss arse every time they want a favour. 

Sorry if I sound bitter and twisted - I'm actually in a good mood - empowed, a little cynical, but good.  I've just finished watching a new episode of McLeod's Daughters, cooked a huge batch of mushroom, chicken, asparagus & leek risotto to divvy up into containers... I'll be getting sick and tired of the stuff within a few days but it's great for freezing in portions.  Oh boy I'm sounding boring.

Oh, and GF yet again asked me if I'd spoken lately to DarkHorse.  We don't speak in two weeks and she's asking about him again.  Uh huh.  I'm getting sick of being used.. by anyone and I'm seeing a pattern in her conversations.  Seeing the Hippies in the Hills helped to remind me that I really don't need superficial self serving people in my life.

Oh and bosslady is going through some pretty major personal dramas in her life and in her own way she's asked me to keep them private for her.  It explains the moods but doesn't make them much easier to deal with given she has total control over how I'm perceived by all the other managers, the MD, and is the person who I have to rely on for feedback of my performance.  Having said that I wish she'd open up so that I could at least help her in whatever way by letting her talk it out.  I still like/respect her, at least when she's not making me feel an inch tall for not having 8 arms. 

GF has been on a total mission this week to stir things up between Angel and I, but failed miserably.  It's getting quite petty and showing her up for the total mischief manipulating person that she has been lately.

1. Firstly my desk phone rang off the hook from her desk phone on Monday late morning.  I'd just come out of running an orientation for a new starter, still fighting off the vestiges of a migraine so I was groggy and really couldn't be arsed to tell you the truth, to deal with whatever latest mood swing or demand for attention that GF was planning on throwing my way, especially if the calls were so insistent and she wasn't leaving a message or sending an email.  Finally I answered her 6th attempt, and got told in scandalised, pretending to be loftily casual tones, that Nanna* had walked downstairs in her work building and ran smack dab into Angel to run his new job's orientation!  She somehow discovered from THAT ..I shudder to think how... that one of Angel's ancient ex's whom he lived with for 6 years, sits right next to her.  Oh whoopee. I had mental images of getting little gossipy snipey calls from GF with more and more frequency. So I sent him a casual email telling him about it to give him a heads up that one of GF's friends is working around him and to top it off, his ex (in case they don't get on).  He was bemused and told me all about it even though I told him he didn't have to that I wasn't fishing.  They are still friendly, she came down from north of the state with her partner to work in Perth and he briefly wished her well.  So that little attempt to stir just backfired a) because I know it's none of my business and b) because he told me anyway despite us only being friends.  * a mutual friend who I've not heard from much since GF has been back, the good natured fretter whose back behind which GF and her new #1 bestest buddy snipe, which should've warned me in itself.
2. Now secondly for the cracker.  Tuesday night GF ran into Angel at the cricket with one of her buddies. I got the email of course, bright & early the next morning telling me she had run into him and trailing off after saying that she said hello (trying to bait me into buying into asking what happened .. I KNOW she'd have loved for him to have joined her and her friend or attempting to hit on her if the way she's acted around DarkHorse was anything to go by) So of course I bite but more out of amusement. I know his feelings about her so I'm in no doubt about how pally or more to the point, NOT, that he would've been so there is no apprehension in my question.  I get a reply of "oh I copped the usual abuse".  Uh huh.  He doesn't abuse her.  Even when she's drunkenly ranted at him a few years ago.  So I asked her what on earth he said.  Her eventual admission?  He said "I'm good thanks" and sailed right on past her when she asked him how he was to try to buy into a conversation.  :)  YES. Is it petty to be smug that he completely blew her off?  I mentally did a little chuckle.  This morning I finally casually told him about the conversation, his reaction "she said WHAT? :) what a little B*TCH!  you'd do so well to completely distance yourself from her!".

Having said all this, I miss the friendship before she started meddling or getting so narcissistic when the friendship was just so easy.  Maybe she'll mellow.  Meantime I'm going to a movie (gold class) with GF on Saturday belatedly for her bday.  I feel duplicitous but this is for her birthday and I won't be a tight arse - we'll get through this birthday gift then I'll sort things out with her or distance myself while she goes through this phase.  Meantime, Angel's been a great friend dare I say it, giving advice on car suppliers when i am about to go car shopping with a new friend, asking how I've been, excited for me about registering for studies.. and I'm not hanging my hopes on him, meantime I've been talking a bit with a guy who has been working away on site who I met on a dating site..dubious about any results off those sites though and meantime removed my profile putting it down to a holiday season whim and still have a crush on RogerRamjet (like the nickname? he's tall broadshouldered, chiselled features, but a really nice guy too..the separated guy).

Sounds melodramatic but you'll see why.

• GF celebrated her birthday on Thursday.  The friend who i used to share every thought with.  It has now down graded into her ringing me a few nights before we were all meant to be going to see the rugby on Thurs night, and she repeatedly offered for me to bow-out if I wanted to, saying that she could easily find another taker for my ticket. Hmm after the not so subtle hint a few times as well as her pointedly telling me that this new bestest buddy of hers is going, I finally gave her the out that we could catch up some other time.  She still pushed for me to go and join her at her birthday drinks with some people from work briefly on Thurs and after work before the game.  I felt like a complete outsider. I brought her a card only as we'd agreed I'd take her out for a movie today as my gift to her.  SO, one of the women who I'd met through her a few times asked why I hadn't gone to her 40th the weekend before.  I was taken offguard and replied "because I wasn't invited??" she looked annoyed/perplexed and said, "well, you were certainly invited..." in plain text, GF didn't let me know I'd been invited and deliberately avoided telling me whose 40th she was going to when I spoke to her a week ago.  Bup-Boww.  To me that's a fairly huge point.  As they were leaving she even forgot that I wasn't joining them or that I was there and almost left without saying goodbye.  She gushed to cover up and told me she'd call me today to sort out the movie.  No phone call.  I've been passed out with a migraine so I had a real reason for not calling her, but also the last thin on this earth that I felt like doing was taking her out for a movie or paying any more attention to her.  She'll put it down to rivalry with this new bestest buddy, but it is her own actions that have killed the friendship completely for me. She even once admitted to me that she likes surrounding herself with beautiful people.  It's such a shallow outlook and I'm not liking the side of her that I've been seeing.
• Angel came over for dinner Thurs night.  It was uncomfortably hot, and my place does not have airconditioning.  It was comfortable between us in some ways but there were awkward silences where we both wondered whether we'd end up in bed, but I didn't particularly want it to head in that direction after the last time I saw him.
• Cowboy didn't call.  A little disappointing, it was a real buzz to be pursued like I was when I met him.  It was obviously a drunken whim that dissipated when he sobered up.

Hi guys sorry I went MIA.  My computer was giving me nasty blue screens, then it was off for repairs.. lots of blue words down this end and not many normal ones resulted.

So meantime in the land of moia..

1. Crush on Gilligan dissipated and all but gone.
2. Angel was contacting me a lot wanting to see me, asking for my advice on his career, LISTENED to that advice and we caught up purely as platonic friends. 
3. GF disappointed me by standing me up for New Year's Eve.  She's re-connected closely with her old posse crowd for the time being and so I'm old news.  I kind of knew it was coming, we're still friends, but I don't consider her a close friend any more.  She calls me when she needs someone to talk to about Scuba. (The posse not being very understanding & all... neither am I lately!)
4. I've been given a decent pay increase, woohoo.  It makes the recent nutty mood swings and occasionally accusatory rants from bosslady which have been more frequent, bearable.  Every time she cops it for not having done something or her manager comes down on her... I can almost count the seconds til I am being snapped at for wasting time or something.
5. I've been told if I want to get a new job that is coming up, rather than have someone else more senior appointed to work with me, I need to do some further study.  EEK.  Financially, timeways, stressways, eek.  On the other hand... COOOL!!
6. I have another work crush.  Hopefully this won't be a pattern though.  Another really sweet tall nice guy. Cute.. friendly, sociable, no weird awkwardness.  I enjoy talking to him.  But so far I think he'll just end up being yet another guy friend.  He's a father of 2 boys, one 6 one 12 and split up from his ex partner I'm getting the impression, about a year or so ago.  It's not fresh but not ancient history.  Danger Wil Robinson.. DANNNGERR.
7. Angel sms'd me again tonight, asking to catch up.  Unluckily for him I ran into him last Fri night, drunk.  After I refused to take him home and mother his poor drunken ass, he went over to a bunch of girls after he thought I'd left and was hassling them. I was standing there watching him and it hurt a little.  Especially given his friends had just finished putting two and two together from watching him being overly physically comfortable with me like I was his girlfriend who he could be completely goofy and comfortable with, and they'd been cracking jokes about me taking Angel home to tuck him into bed, take care of him and give him a vomit bucket (he'd been drinking since midday).  I took my cue to leave and headed to an entirely different pub, where I was hit on by a guy who I tried scaring off (unsuccessfully).  "Cowboy" took my card and was determined to call me again.  Nickname refers to his name but won't divulge any more.  He's a builder who has just relocated from Sydney to this state.  We'll see if it was anything more than random drunken randiness.
8. I've come across some random acts of kindness and just genuinely nice people which have amazed me and cheered me up on a flat week a few weeks ago.  Must post about it more later.
9. I've made some new friends through work.  Girlfriends.  Both very different.. again fuel for a later post.
10. Mental note to self: get a debate happening on lost and found cash.  Would YOU hand it in?  I was strapped, have lost cash myself and mentally written it off as "ah well whoever finds it will hopefully really need it as noone will hand it in and how could they prove it was theirs!?"  so when a friend and I found $50 lying on the ground outside an open air venue.  I'd been financially struggling and she paid for my ticket and I was feeling awkward and embarassed about it.  She handed me the cash and shrugged it off saying "well there is noone around who we could ask if they dropped it and if we did of course they'd say yes!".  So what is your take on it...?  I still feel a bit weird.