BlondeVixen

Studies and Interviews

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:57:00 +0800

*victory dance* I passed my latest assignment, yahoo. Only 6 pages *wince*.

SO I've been for a few interviews lately, one of which wanted to get back to me after the state manager returned from her honeymoon. I went back there for a second interview, but the Australia-wide manager who I was meant to be meeting just couldn't be there and oops they couldn't be bothered to ring me to tell me that. So I took 2hours out of WORK TIME to go over there getting my head bitten off by bosslady (who by the way has made a few sheepish admissions about not being the best at handling conflict negotiations and has been fabulous since she has realised she has found a job somewhere else).

SO, I got snapped at for going out for a few hours, only to find out the guy I was meant to be meeting who arranged it could not make the meeting. So at the end of the interview she mentions that they want me to go back there at some later stage for 2 hours of skills assessment and then a third interview. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Their offices are about 20 mins out of the city from where I work. We're preparing for bosslady leaving. Trying to get everything in order as much as possible. Aaargh. I told the agent how I feel. The would be employer has arranged the skills assessment for Sat morning instead of during the week. I'm still iffy about the job. The idea of a new job is really enticing, and more money would be VERRRY handy. We'll see.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Fallen Angel Gutful

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:23:36 +0800

Well he's finally TORN it. He tried being all pally. I nearly bought it. Then he started trying to wheedle his way into coming over. Then started sending cheeky suggestive emails. This time around, he wasn't even charming he was just grubby and obvious. So I bluntly told him I didn't want to see him. Was happy to stay friends over email remotely but that's about it (I missed the real companionship, the chats & discussions we had had). Well that's all well and truly killed.

Less than a week later, I'm getting a 3am sms from him "So, what's the plan? Are we shagging or not as got to decide. :) Sorry just been able to read your message now. Ax". Umm... I hadn't SENT him any message and we hadn't spoken in nearly a week. I responded "huh no we are not 'shagging' and there was no message". Got response of "whoops, sent to wrong person :) " like it was some sort of laugh. Less than a week after trying to get back into my knickers then that. By this stage 3/4 awake and livid, I responded rather than with a tirade, with icy fury with "classy". His response,"Well ok it was meant for you if it makes ou feel any better: as I miss your awesome body :) and all the rest hat goes with it babe :) AX"

Now some might take that as a compliment, I was just bloody furious and saw him as a manipulative liar and I was FURIOUS. Upset, I felt suddenly like not 'special' to him in any way at all but one of a multitude, that he was a player all along, that he was playing games and I was stupid enough to swallow all the crap about us understanding each other, knowing each other like noone else does, but I was downright furious most of all.

Being still half asleep I went back with "I don't know what to believe, but I'm sick of being hurt so please do not contact me any more". And that was that right? pfft, after 4 years, hell no.

So a weekend of hurt skulking around the house - pathetic I know but the one thing through the past 4 years that has been the hook was that there was something special some sort of special connection. Really? I don't believe that for an intant any more. But I was shattered too. I'd been in a bit of a stressful slump for about a week then this was a blow I didn't need even from a friend who I still trusted on some level to show respect based on thebond we had, from me being there for him when his dad died, for all the things we had been through as friends. In hindsight what a crock.

I got an sms last night "hi stranger how are you? thought I'd say hi... Ax" My response was simple "do not contact me again, no idea what to make of Fri 3 am sms's but enough is enough". So since then he thought it would be clever to b'cc me in on a totally crude email joke. Again responded "please remove me from all contact lists" that was it.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Angel & Interviews..

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:18:49 +0800

Angel...

Well, in a moment of weakness I might've accidentally copied him in on an email joke. One of a multitude of people b'cc'd but it immediately got a response asking how I was, telling me he had seen me last week crossing the road (damn the work proximity), and that I looked fantastic and he thinks of me often. Damn. It was lovely to hear. I'm not weakening I'm not. It is impossible though to believe that missing his friendship isn't at some point tied into the rest... so I can't encourage it. But damn it was good to hear from him and yes I responded via email in a friendly but not a flirty way. Still I'm considering it falling off the wagon momentarily even though I didn't do anything other than chat over email in a sociable way.

I was pathetically pleased to hear that his friend who seemed to actively meddle in our friendship in the past, seems to have lost his shine lately and the two have parted company. It's mean as they were close but I also think this friend of his was using him up. I've been careful not to share my opinion with Angel too much as I know eventually they'll mend bridges. Good friends always do and I don't want to meddle.

Interviews...

I'm waiting to hear about one of the 3 interviews I've been on a week or so ago apparently I'm shortlisted down to the last person. The recruiter has also tried to ring me this afternoon (my mobile was switched to silent), so I'll keep my options open if it is another interview. Fingers crossed.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Studying Woes

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:58:49 +0800

I'm so frustrated with trying to learn online. It is not something I respond to. I'm trying. But I'm so totally demotivated when my lecturer doesn't give clear instructions of what is required, in what format, how large or small and then tells me afterwards that I've not generated it in the format required. It's not the first time and with the same lecturer. Frustrating as all hell. I should be more motivated and more organised. I'm going to take some time off to catch up.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Shoes Fetish, Daylight Savings, Roos/Seals et al, Mice & Interviews..

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:32:42 +0800

Shoes Fetish..

Well, confession time. Nope keep your minds out of the gutter you sods who were about to make some grubby joke, (though given my recent postings you might be forgiven).. I've been misbehaving WAYY too much on shoes. Stupid? yes. Financially not a smart move? You bet. Was it FUN.... ooo don't call me SJP, I don't have the weird wardobe or the size 0 figure. I'm going ot wear my fabulous Sachi boots tomorrow to work as it's just started getting cold again and any excuse to air them will do.

Daylight Savings

For those of you NOT living in stinking hot countries during the summer months, daylight savings might seem fabulous to you. For those, like Pez, it might seem fabulous if you love being out in the heat and don't come down with nasty stinking migraines if out in the heat in the early evenings. To go to sleep while it's still hot as the heat doesn't dissipate WITHOUT daylight savings, until around 10pm/11pm, when daylight savings has kicked in, I'm finally drifting off after a nasty sweaty wrestle with the sheets at around 1am desperately setting up an oscillating fan beside the bed, pushing cuddly warmer than a heat bag max cuddling up to me away from me, while having the old aircon unit that is in the loungeroom rattle away like it's in its final death throes. All I can say is "yahbluddy hoo, the cold weather is upon us and daylight savings was told to nick off on Sunday night just gone... ABOUT TIME".

Interviews

So, in a work update, I've been out doing interviews, I've been to 3 in the past week or so. I've even invested a little (via the trusty 'we'll charge you xyz exhorbitant interest rate' mastercard) on some new interview/work outfits. Feeling very professional-looking, nervous as sin in interviews as I've been with the one company for 7 years, and stuffing them up to varying degrees of sheer blondeness.

Waking Up To A Mouse

The day of my first interview for a while and I woke up to paws going whump-whump...whumpwhumpwhump alongside me on the bedspread. Any cat-owner KNOWS what this is code for. "Hey MUM look what I got you, you're gonna be sooo pleased with this creepie-crawly!" I shot from dead asleep to near-vertical in one smooth frantic motion while switching on the lamp and saying "OHSHIT" in one loud voice. This time it was a poor little grey mouse. I KNOW that they're pests but they're so damn cute I feel sorry for them. I can't let them go I can't kill them. Weak. Yup totally.

On the Soapbox...

Okay, my opinion, not that I'm sure it matters, whether they are kangaroos, seals whatever the animal. If the environmentalists have decided the numbers need to be cut back for the betterment of the environment in the area, then they should be culled humanely. I disagree just as strongly with some idiots who get drunk in their outback ute and go out "roo-shooting" as I have an issue with people going out clubbing to death any animal. You can't tell me that that kind of method of despatch is humane.

Now I've NEVER heard anyone tell me that for environmental reasons, whales need to be culled to control their numbers. Remind me again if I'm wrong, but aren't they endangered?. There I've said it.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Political Crap

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:13:08 +0800

I'm soo unbelievably sick of receiving repeat propaganda in the mail from our 2 major warring political parties in the leadup to the federal election. Both trying to promise much the same things in a "yeah? yeah? well WE promise to do that too, an an an we'll even throw in a set of steak knives!"

I'd be much more impressed with the outfit who does a mailout, outlines their policies asks for any feedback, then in the bottom of the letter gives an undertaking to invest whatever advertising capital remains into charity or some public need rather than paper-bombing us! And they're all a bunch of hypocrites who promise the earth to get in then don't deliver or use what they do to try to distract from their own agendas.

Howard peeves me no end, his arrogance towards the media, his temper/haughty mightier than thou attitude and in an environment where so many in our state cannot afford to buy a home these days, he doesn't even KNOW how high the official interest rates have gone... that's about the main identifier between the two of them and what they promise.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

False Friendship Disappoints

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 22:41:58 +0800

Miss False, prior to a year ago, I'd seen her only twice. She had "transferred", dumping me after bonding with couple-friends of mine (far more convenient and appropriate for Miss False obviously)... Miss False I'll dub her because she strikes false to me at the moment, almost cold.

So the two times I'd seen her twice in the past 2 nearly 3 years:

Once babysitting for her while she was heavily pregnant so she and her hubby could go out for one last dinner before the second bub was born. She went into labour that very next morning/partially that evening when she got home but she thought it was indigestion.

The next time I see her due to a series of things which stopped me from seeing her in hospital, was at Transfer Friend's girls' night to celebrate her birthday, about a year & a half later. I had rung her, sms'd her and emailed her and never got a response. That night, we got along well enough but I'd been hearing all night about how that 4some were constantly catching up, dinners etc. Nice. I'd not even gotten a CALL. Miss False gushes on about how we should catch up again blah blah. Obviously I was a little reserved but agreed we should catch up if nothing else for the sake of not being rude. The next morning at Transfer Friend's place, Miss False is as crook as a dog, throwing up constantly and can't drive the 45 minutes home in the wrong direction from my place. I still offered to drive her home. I drove her home, she settles into a bath without so much as a thank you and I waited an hour while her hubby rang a district nurse to check what medications she could take and still breastfeed her baby. More like an hour and a half. But I understood. It was my Sunday, I'd stayed the night at Transfer Friend's and was itching to head home for a shower and to change, it was about 1pm by this stage but I waited. Miss False's hubby needed me to drive him back up there to pick up their second car. I did it (another 45 min trip). Dropped him off after loaning him a cd, and headed for home (another 45 min trip). I got home around about 2:30/3pm and most of my weekend was gone.

Well, I heard nothing from them since despite hearing yet more stories of the 4 of them all catching up for dinners, and bonding in all sorts of social situations. I was hurt, offended and angry. Not to mention I wanted my cd back and felt they should call me to initiate the return of it under the circumstances. NOTHING. Another year goes by and after hearing through friends how Miss False had sniped to everyone that I mustn't have time for her with being busy in my single life. I was starting to seethe a little. I see her at Transfer Friend's next girls' night. Uh huh. She pipes up just after walking in, acting defensive and saying a bit self consciously "oh hello stranger, long time no hear!" with a sarcastic edge. The rest of the girls there fell silent. I was trying to tell myself not to create a scene. But I did say in a rather lazy amused voice "that's funny, the last time I saw you was a year ago tomorrow, when I drove you home while you were sick remember? I haven't heard from you SINCE". That shut her up. Meantime Transfer Friend is gushing on about all their social catchups. Miss False gushes on about how we should catch up (surprise, it's the modus operandi). Nearly a year ago now. Nothing. So flash forward to this past week, sure I was furious when Miss False wants to try to meet with and bond with my sister after hearing through Transfer Friend that she had been invited to my sister's place for a girls' night. Didn't it strike her as odd that I'd not invited her, myself? No it shouldn't have done given we'd not been in contact and frankly I didn't want the friendship after all that muck under the bridge. She didn't even have the balls to call me to arrange an invite to my sister's place herself.

Transfer Friend had commented to me in the past (which was really bitchy and I'd not bought into it myself) that Miss False is too impressed by shows of wealth and liked to bignote her friends with wealth and influence. So I'm seeing all kinds of reasons why after 3 years of silence she'd want to drag herself along to my sister's place, but none of those reasons anything to do with me or our now deflated friendship. I know I'm giving this all far too much thought, but when people act in such a disappointing way it really really bugs me. I used to think of Miss False and her husband as good friends. Not close but good friends.

I've been invited to go to the next girls' party of Transfer Friend .. I'm thinking of finding a reason not to go and leave them to it rather than be tempted to call the other girl out if she tries to gush on again. It's just getting too uncomfortable any time she doesn't call a spade a spade - she should either let it go or put in the effort, she annoys me further even though I shrug it off as her feeling guilty. If she had just shrugged it off as us drifting apart fine.

I'm lucky to have much more genuine friends in people like TallFriend, Transfer Friend herself, Copfriend and others. Once I've moved house I need to reconnect with everyone who I've not seen for a while and refresh connections with the people who I do care about. I've been feeling a bit isolated with house, work & study stuff and I'm sure the absence isn't appreciated by my friends.

Chefgurl came to town about a week ago, she's doing well, broke up with the guy who she was more or less living with but is still running the business which they'd originally bought together. Country life suits her she seems so happy. Eyore is eyore in name only now since she met this great guy who worships her. They fight occasionally but who doesn't. She's now immersed in her relationship life and doesn't make the effort to call me back or keep in touch now as much, until they argue then I get the late night phone call. I'm hoping they come up for air once the honey moon period is over and I can see her more often. Im happy for them I just miss the friendship I've lost touch with since she dropped off the planet.

I swing between occasionally getting disappointed by people and wondering if perhaps I'm doing something wrong in my friendships. I know i can get a bit hermit-like when I'm stressed, but it's only because I don't want to be a wet dishrag and pass on the 'joy'. I guess i can't be responsible for others' actions only my own and keep going on that basis.

I know I sound a bit neurotic, but my friendships mean a lot to me. I see them as family and care about them. To be let down by them hurts. I just hope I don't let them down though - I try not to. Yep I am hearing myself, I need to get a life again. Once the house stuff is sorted and I've gotten a bit more ahead in my studies, give it the 2 weeks' hols and hopefully things will be on a more even keel. But the amount of my energy that my work takes out of my life at the moment is not healthy either.

With 2 weeks hols, expect a much cheerier posting person. :) At least I hope so. Pics of the new place (which I'll warn you upfront, needs work) are to follow. Max won't know himself when he can go outside.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Moving, On Hols, Angel-Weary

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 22:07:31 +0800

Well it's less than a week now until I move house. The final inspection of my current place has come and gone and it's all been successful. It's surreal that this time next week I'll be in my new place. I'm excited & nervous - I loathe moving. The new place doesn't have a bath so I'll have to make the most of this one before I go. It's going to be a sharp turnaround time for moving - the keys for this place are legally due at the same time the keys are due for the new place. I've booked a removalist for Sat morning at 9:30am. I'm PRAYING they show up on time - but removalists never do *BIG WINCE*

Angel-Weariness. What to say. I care about him, sometimes too much and my defensive walls feel like they're crumbling. Spending time with him makes me feel good at the time but seems empty of any substance later but I don't have any time to meet anyone more real - real meaning more really 'there' rather than on a whim. Sometimes I think he cares, other times I think he's a player. Luckily it's never been an issue because he doesn't seek any kind of commitment beyond assuming we'll see each other once a week. It's disappointing & hurtful that he doesn't show interest in my life beyond a certain level, (he's never once really asked me with great enthusiasm ANYTHING about the new place which is a pretty huge thing in my life). But not too hurtful and certainly not surprising after 3 years. He seems to see me as "his" somehow on some kind of comfort/taking for granted level but likes to chase when I back away. It's nice for now but he doesn't own me - he could win my whole heart if he tried properly but he's never tried and not likely to (I wonder if hell is feeling frosty) He'll quite possibly find that out the hard way that he doesn't own me. Right now I'm off the whole thing all together. If I'm lonely again I might weaken. I hope not though - I'm not proud of the situation and I do NOT want to be a doormat.

So, onto cheerier topics, I'm away from work for 2 weeks. It took working til 7 at least 3 or more nights over last week but I got nearly everything together well enough for my boss to take over the reins and prearranged a heap. I was also told, disappointingly enough for me anyway, "you'd best make sure not a THING is out of place or there'll be hell to pay when you get back" (in a nutshell slightly differently worded but that was the gist). I worked my ASS off. If it's not in order, tough. Then it comes down to the amount of work.

I'm fighting a cold, first day of ...well let's just say a severely sore abdomen woke me up (sorry lads for the overshare and I'm keeping this anonymous) woo this week of packing boxes is going to be "schpecial" to be facetious.

I'm happy though - stressed from house move, being behind in my online studies.. but I'm good. i need more of a social life back (and to meet NORMAL guys perhaps) but for the time being, house move, study, and family have ruled my life. They are my own goals though.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Mental Association.. and on Angel Boy Encounters

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 16:49:42 +0800

Loving the new baner/template. Funny .. what do you think my little word association thing was, for "The L Word". ? :) You might not get it right necessarily as two came to mind. Bit of a seesaw really.

And on that, I caught up with Angel Boy again on Thurs night. Weak I know. I missed him. He told me he had missed me as well. I just wanted some company but wasn't fooling myself into thinking he'd changed or would change. He was quite keen to come window shopping with me while I looked at electrical goods. I thought it was really amusing/quaint when he went to talk to the salesmen on my behalf trying to act like "The Man" and take charge (silly mental picture at this point of him in a cowboy hat chewing on straw saying let me take care of this litte missy which had me almost giggling to myself as these salesmen knew me pretty well from a lot of brow-beatings over the year). Well, the salesman who started talking to us had seen me in there only about 4 days previous when Betty the laptop had gone bung for a little bit. Whatever it was, mister salesman, while trying to wriggle out of honouring the warranty, triggered both my ire for a bit and something in the latop obviously got jostled enough for it to start working again. Wahoo. I thanked him, let us both out of that debate and sadly, went on to shop for laptop bags as I'd brought Betty in to them in a woven shopping bag. Sadly, because one minute I was about to do battle, the next I'm spending more cash in the same store. Pathetic. But I got a lovely bag which I desperately needed. Or so I'd convinced myself. ;)

So to flash forward again to the Thursday night just gone, Angel is 'taking charge' like we're in a relationship and a certain part of me felt relieved to let someone else deal with the haggling. I can be the woman of steel no bull gets past this girl type person when I have to be, but I don't want to HAVE to be that strong person 24/7. It was nice. Deadly in terms of confusing our own nonrelationship but seriously... I just went with the flow to enjoy the evening and give him a buzz. I can be a bit too forthright with him sometimes and didn't want to add to that emasculation by getting peevish about something silly. So I left him to haggle and wandered around to have a look at a few other things with the bemused salesman looking sideways from Angel to myself at times almost quizzically at times and when Angel wasn't looking I got a few smirks as if he knew exactly what I was doing by not doing anyhing.

We did some further window shopping and then he decided he just HAD to buy the same bedsheets as me. How bloody strange is all I can say.

He swings between mister "I am an old fashioned guy who wants to take charge, help and be needed" to "I'm sorry, too much partying to do..who are you again?" ...

Thursday night Max is turning himself inside out rubbing himself all over Angel's legs, claiming Angel's laptop bag as his by rubbing his cheeks over it and generally welcoming Angel into the house. Angel has seen Max almost at his worst back in the days when Max thought all humans were out to hurt him and so he wanted to mutillate them, so Angel was as surprised as me. He gushed about how my cat must like him and insinuating that he was part of the family. My guard was up, I was not going to play any stupid pretend for a night games especially anything that nuts. I've known the guy 3 years and he's called me his angel but never said the 3 little words, never included me in his social life and not really taken me out anywhere. I'm fairly clear on where he is NOT coming from. But damn by the time he left much later, with a comfortable companionship vibe happening, playfullness.. it's still far too much of a trap unless it might actually go somewhere. I'm probably going to end up freaking out and backing away from him again for a bit. Oh and sure enough mister "I'll drunken sms Blondie to let her know I'm thinking of her even when out with the boys" has not been doing any of that for weeks now. Including the whole weekend. He's dropped back off the map again. Just as well I don't NEED him around.

Oh and is it completely ironic that he was watching that crime tv show with Chris Noth on it, and commented on him being Mr Big. Angel has an eery resemblance to Chris Noth and the ironcy of Chris's character on SATC wasn't lost on me. And I don't believe in fairy tale endings. I wish I could but I can't.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Telephone Customer Service Staff

nobody@vox.com(Blonde Vixen) — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 16:17:43 +0800

I've been doing battle with telephone customer service staff lately. Firstly a bank employee gave me wrong information which lead to an embarassing inability to pay for my own damn groceries (I was so far in advance on my mortgage payments I cancelled the direct debit out of my account... so I was told...) then the telephone company who I pre-booked to switch my address over, inputted the details for a full month early, leaving my home phone and my internet cut off. All in one week.

Here are some of my thoughts on it all, written down while on hold with Australia's infamous "Telstra" telephone carrier on the types of Telephone 'Customer Service' people you'll encounter, while on the phone to a bank or utility of any kind:

Don't Give a Damn - bored or defensive and aggressive, they don't want to help you and make no bones about it. Most common at Telstra in Australia - who are infamous for locating & hiring these tyes. Bored's will just about yawn in your ear, even be happy to chat down the phone if it's not about your problem, and tell you disinterestedly that you'll have to call back later or speak to someone else. The agro's of this group will be on the defensive after having someone who encountered a Bored beforescreaming at them in a previous call, and will be ready to jump down your throat for even sounding frustrated & frazzled, and again, will be quite happy to make the problem worse for you if they think it'll cheer themselves up.
Getting Thru The Day - bored/agro but more concealed, want to coast through the day, keep the gibbering idiot down the phone happy/quiet but don't want to actually sort out the problem, that would mean actually being effective & following through. They will promise to get someone to get back to you, take all you details down and tell you at great length why you've gotten through to the wrong department but not actually make anything happen.
Helpful But Misinformed - the most dangerous of the lot, you get off the phone happy thinking you've been adequately assisted and even helpfully, to only later discover later that they've given you totally dodgy information or worse still, processed your pre-planned house move of your phone line a month early or a month late!
The Grail - someone who enjoys their job, that elusive prize that anyone searches for on their quest to reach a resolution to their problem. Someone who understands if the caller is calling about an issue , that they will be upset, but not at them personally, and try to resolve the issue so that it doesn't keep rippling on and causing further waves. They find the cause, follow through the call to the result and make the person on the other end of the phone dream about them being cloned and employed at phone companies, utilities and banks throughout the world. Their blood should be bottled!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend