Fallen Angel Gutful

Well he's finally TORN it.  He tried being all pally.  I nearly bought it.  Then he started trying to wheedle his way into coming over.  Then started sending cheeky suggestive emails.  This time around, he wasn't even charming he was just grubby and obvious.  So I bluntly told him I didn't want to see him.  Was happy to stay friends over email remotely but that's about it (I missed the real companionship, the chats & discussions we had had).  Well that's all well and truly killed.

Less than a week later, I'm getting a 3am sms from him "So, what's the plan? Are we shagging or not as got to decide. :)  Sorry just been able to read your message now.  Ax".  Umm... I hadn't SENT him any message and we hadn't spoken in nearly a week.  I responded "huh no we are not 'shagging' and there was no message".  Got response of "whoops, sent to wrong person :) " like it was some sort of laugh.  Less than a week after trying to get back into my knickers then that.  By this stage 3/4 awake and livid, I responded rather than with a tirade, with icy fury with "classy".  His response,"Well ok it was meant for you if it makes ou feel any better: as I miss your awesome body :) and all the rest hat goes with it babe :) AX"

Now some might take that as a compliment, I was just bloody furious and saw him as a manipulative liar and I was FURIOUS.  Upset, I felt suddenly like not 'special' to him in any way at all but one of a multitude, that he was a player all along, that he was playing games and I was stupid enough to swallow all the crap about us understanding each other, knowing each other like noone else does, but I was downright furious most of all. 

Being still half asleep I went back with "I don't know what to believe, but I'm sick of being hurt so please do not contact me any more".  And that was that right?  pfft, after 4 years, hell no.

So a weekend of hurt skulking around the house - pathetic I know but the one thing through the past 4 years that has been the hook was that there was something special some sort of special connection.  Really?  I don't believe that for an intant any more.  But I was shattered too.  I'd been in a bit of a stressful slump for about a week then this was a blow I didn't need even from a friend who I still trusted on some level to show respect based on thebond we had, from me being there for him when his dad died, for all the things we had been through as friends.  In hindsight what a crock.

I got an sms last night "hi stranger how are you? thought I'd say hi...  Ax"  My response was simple "do not contact me again, no idea what to make of Fri 3 am sms's but enough is enough".  So since then he thought it would be clever to b'cc me in on a totally crude email joke.  Again responded "please remove me from all contact lists" that was it.